So Who’s a Mensch?

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mensch doorFrom the Lampert Library

One night recently when my daughter and her family were visiting from Lille, France, we went out for pizza. Everyone trouped into the restaurant. I brought up the rear as usual.

When I got to the door, my then almost seven- year- old grandson was standing holding the heavy door.

“Max”, I said, “you’re a mensch.”

“Grandma”, asked Max, “what’s a mensch?”

How do you explain the Yiddish term to a little boy who already has his head full of two languages?

“Max”, I said, “a mensch is someone who does the nice thing, the right thing.” As I spoke the words, I realized how inadequate and how poorly nuanced that explanation was.

Merriam-Webster defines a mensch as “a person of integrity and honor”. Leo Rosten, author of the classic Joys of Yiddish, uses even more words. Says Rosten a mensch is “someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character. The key to being ‘a real mensch’ is nothing less than character, rectitude, dignity, a sense of what is right, responsible, decorous.”

That explanation might be stretching it a bit when applied to holding the door open for Grandma, but perhaps it’s appropriate for a little boy who is just beginning to function like a person of integrity and honor, learning respect and the proper way to act. It’s often little actions that lead to more significant ones.

A person is never too young – or old – to learn how to be a mensch.

mensch parentingAs the year nears its turning and JLC begins again, let us hope that all our kids grow up to be menschen by learning about Jewish tradition, heroes, and history and emulating the behavior that we model for them and that they absorb from our texts and history.

Our library – especially the children’s section – is filled with examples of menschen and mensch-like behavior including the following:

A mensch Among Men: explorations in Jewish masculinity

Chotjewitz,  Daniel half Human (YA)

mensch estieKipnes,  Jewish Spiritual Parenting: wisdom, activities, rituals, and prayers for raising children with spiritual balance and emotional wholeness

Kohuth, Estie the mensch (J)

Kurshan, Raising Your Child to be a Mensch

Ingall, Mamaleh Knows best: what Jewish mothers do to raise successful, creative, empathetic, independent children

Rosenberg, Raising a mensch

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2 thoughts on “So Who’s a Mensch?”

  1. Love this, Aileen! And I just got a copy of Mamaleh Knows Best — a new book on mothering, according to Jewish philosophy. And according to the book, the Jewish way to raise a child is to raise a mensch. So timely for this piece — perhaps it’s a book the Task Family could donate to the Shomrei library if you are interested?

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