The Unloved: Parashat Vayeshev/Hanukah

unlovedTorah Sparks
Genesis 37:1 – 40:23

The story of Joseph and his brothers begins its first installment this Shabbat in our Torah portion. One dramatic episode is that of Joseph resisting the attempts by Potiphar’s wife (she has no personal name in the text) to seduce him. Joseph earns the epithet “The Righteous One” for resisting her improper advances. “And, as she spoke to him every day, still he did not listen to her, to lay by her, to be with her.” (Gen. 39:10)In a rage over his refusal, she seeks revenge by lying to her husband and getting Joseph thrown in jail. According to most of our traditional readings the wife of Potiphar is regarded as the typical representation of sinful temptation. The Talmud reads this verse to mean that she hoped to lead Joseph into an unholy love affair that would drag them both to Gehinnom (- Hell). Such a reading follows from her own ignoble acts. But it is also buttressed by common patriarchal and religious biases that tended to view women as sources of dangerous sexuality, a threat to male virtue.

We should remind ourselves that such a reading does not exhaust all the layers of this story. The Torah’s depictions of humanity are far more complex and rich than any one perspective, outdated or currently fashionable, can encompass. And we can also benefit from reminding ourselves that the sources of insight and inspiration we can draw from in order to seek meaning in our Torah are potentially infinitely various and available.

This week I enjoyed the fortuitous confluence of reading Rashi’s comments on the Torah portion right after attending a new theatrical reinterpretation of the story of Tristan and Isolde (“Tristan & Yseult,” presented by the company, Kneehigh). The ancient story of Tristan and Isolde concerns two lovers who are tragically unable to live together in this world. The most eminent version of the story is the opera by Richard Wagner, which luxuriates in all the dark, mythic aspects of the tale. In the updated version I saw the theater company added a new idea: every story of lovers, tragic or happy, also implies that there are other people in the story, “the unloved.” The unloved may be people who have simply not been as fortunate as the protagonists of the love story, not having found their own true love. But sometimes the unloved are people who love one of the lovers, but are not loved in return. Their story is given equal weight to that of the tragic lovers’ in the production I saw. Are they also heroes? Whose story is more tragic or true?

I think that performance influenced me as I read Rashi’s comment on the verse I quoted above. That verse speaks right after we have already witnessed Potiphar’s wife’s blunt demand of Joseph, “Sleep with me!” (v. 7) And Joseph has already refused, explaining that such an act would be a sin against both Potiphar, who is his boss and her husband, and a sin against the Almighty. Rashi subtly reworks the Talmud’s comments as he applies them to the next verse. It emerges that this verse is not a summary of what has gone before. Rather, Potiphar’s wife has changed her demand. When she implores him “to lay by her,” Rashi adds – “[this means] to simply lay by my side [without engaging in sexual union].” And when she begged Joseph “to be with her,” Rashi adds: “in the World to Come.”

Thus, we are invited to imagine this woman not as an evil seducer, but as one of the “unloved.” Joseph has already rejected her. In response, she scales down her hopes. If Joseph will not have an affair with her, perhaps he will agree to just stay by her side. If they cannot be together in this world, can he not promise her that they will be together in the next? Her scaled down hope thus moves away from the carnal and to the realm of companionship and spiritual communion. Her soul flickers between desperation and grandeur. Nevertheless, Joseph, guided by a different dream, will not join her.

Seen in this light, the Torah’s story is not a simple black and white example of good triumphing over evil, but a painful story of the irreconcilable conflict between two dreams and the challenge to live with that conflict. Potiphar’s wife’s dream of love, focused exclusively upon Joseph, cannot come true.  She feels, therefore, that she will remain unloved. Unable to accept this, she falls apart and seeks to destroy her dream lover. Joseph’s dream, on the other hand, has not fully come into focus, yet. But he has grown past his youthful self-love and knows this much: that his dream cannot include betrayal, not in this world nor in the next.

Shabbat Shalom and Happy Hanukah
Rabbi David Greenstein

IMAGE:  “Your Eyes and Mine…” © Massimo Stefanoni altered and used with permission via Creative Commons License 2.0

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