Perfect or Good Enough: The Path to Parenting

parentingThank you to Linda Ariel for a wonderful presentation and discussion at last Saturday’s @nourish – Shabbat Speaker Series.

Linda began by saying “Parenting is complex and, more often than not, we are totally unprepared.”

She ended by saying “Parenting is complex and has many variables impacting it. We need to realize that it is an ongoing imperfect process that will continue throughout our life. We need to have the time and emotional space to respond and not react to our children and ourselves.”

In between she spoke about different parenting styles and practices and about the importance of letting children experience frustration and potentially negative consequences of their own choices.

As promised, Linda suggested some article to read:

What is a “Good Enough Mother”?

Noted Psychologist Offers Advice to Parents Who Just Can’t Let Go

The Four Styles of Parenting

And some books:

The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, Wendy Mogel, 2001.

Child/family psychologist presents approach and techniques for using Jewish teachings to Raise self- reliant children.

Emotionally Intelligent Parenting: How to Raise a Self-Disciplined, Responsible, Socially Skilled Child, Maurice J. Elias, Ph.D., Steven E. Tobias, Psy.D., and Brian S. Friedlander, Ph.D., 1999.

The authors are psychologists, involved in teaching, research, consultation, and direct counseling with children and their families. They have been addressing issues related to social skills training in the school for decades and through this book have presented skills and strategies in an accessible manner for parents to implement at home.

Get Out of My Life, but could you drive me and Cheryl to the Mall?: A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager, Anthony E. Wolf, Ph. D., 1991.

The author is a clinical psychologist who is able to communicate in an affable manner the challenges of parenting a teen and the approach and strategies to help you feel that you can better cope.

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, 1980.

Authors of the bestseller, Siblings Without Rivalry, Faber and Mazlish have both taught child development on the college level and have facilitated parenting groups for decades.

It’s Not Fair, Jeremy Spenser’s parents let him stay up all night!, Anthony E. Wolf, Ph. D., 1998.

A clinical psychologist, the author addresses the challenges of raising an elementary school aged child and shares strategies for parenting.

 The Six Stages of Parenthood, Ellen Galinsky, 1987.

As parents, we generally focus on the child’s development. It is equally important to be aware of how we are changing and developing in our own right. From the moment we begin to imagine what it might be to be a parent, through pregnancy and birth, and on through the years that we grow with our offspring, there are many thoughts, feelings, and phases through which we travel.

The author has been on the faculty of Bank Street College of Education in New York. She directed many research programs and has been a consultant on child and adult development. She has written subsequent books that address the life skills that every child needs and the principles to help the parent be more in command and control at work and at home.

Why Did You Have To Get A Divorce? and when can I get a hamster?: A Guide to Parenting Through Divorce, Anthony E. Wolf, Ph. D., 1998.

The author is a clinical psychologist who in an accessible way helps parents navigate a period of life that exposes so many feelings and behaviors that are difficult to identify and express for all involved.

@nourish3

What’s @nourish?
@nourish (“at nourish”) is our monthly Shabbat seminar/discussion/activity series for adults presented by Shomrei JLC (Jewish Learning Center). Occurring (approximately) every month, @nourish will bring varied and interesting speakers or activity leaders to Shomrei to engage our brains, bodies and being. @nourish is free and open to the public.

Good coffee and nosh are always in attendance!

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Shirley Grill

Shirley Grill

Shirley is a Partner, leadership coach and consultant focusing on individual and leadership team development at Exetor Group. At Shomrei she's been a congregant and leader for many years. A past President and head of the JLC, she's currently co-charing Shomrei's IHN efforts in housing homeless families. She remains involved "ex-officio" in the strategic planning of the Preschool and JLC.
Shirley Grill

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